Ruth Plunkett


More About Counselling & Psychotherapy

Why might I want to do this?

People enter into counselling for many and varied reasons. For some the reason might be clear, for others, not so. In some cases, cause and effect has being recurring uncorrected for so many years, that the individual feels they no longer recognise who or where they are in life.

Often, for reasons that may or may not seem apparent, we experience chaotic and confusing thoughts and feelings that can, literally, overwhelm us.

Even being aware that a number of things in our lives are not going well, often does not provide a sufficiently adequate explanation or understanding of why we feel as we do.

Professional counselling and psychotherapy offers the opportunity to de-mystify the root-causes of our pain and thus begin to change such uncomfortable states of being.

Even a short term intervention, whilst unlikely to shed light into every dark corner, can provide sufficient new personal insight as to resolve the current problem and set us on our way towards better relationships with ourselves and others.

Furthermore, everything and everyone has a natural life cycle, human nature and the world at large therefore exist in a necessary state of perpetual change.

Where the undercurrent of change is experienced as incompatible with a person's living reality, then one or more of the following symptoms are likely to be present.

What Counselling & Psychotherapy Can Help With


Anxiety & stress

Work related stress

Bereavement & loss

Separation & divorce

Relationship problems

Dependency & over-attachment

Vocational boredom & disappointment

Creative blocks & stuckness

Loss of life direction

Health problems

This list is by no means exhaustive, so please do call for more information, when Ruth will always be happy to discuss your own personal circumstances.

A further note on relationships.....

"When one is a stranger to oneself
one is estranged from others too."

Vita Sackville-West

For most of us, forming satisfying relationships with others and communicating easefully forms the comfort zone within which we experience our sense of well-being. Disharmony or breakdown in relationship, whether intimate, social or in the workplace, is often therefore the final straw which pushes us over the threshold of what is bearable and causes us to seek help.

Frequently, by the time we 'break-down', we are no longer in the position to recognise the difference between the other person's emotions and behaviours, and our own. Sometimes we are apt to overly blame the others. At other times, we might torment or persecute ourselves with 'self-blame' which might not be entirely our due. Moreover, we often come to realise that we are more at odds, 'ourselves with ourselves', than ever we might have imagined.

Such internal trials and conflicts as they unconsciously reside within us can be painful and destructive not only to ourselves, but also the relationships we care most about.

As Vita Sackville-West, amongst others stated, in order to enjoy satisfying relationships with others, we need generally first to be in satisfactory relationship with ourselves.

As such the counselling process pays particular attention to the relationships in a person's life, how they tick, and where that person may need help to re-connect more happily with their own sense of personal autonomy and identity.

Past influences and
       the here and now...

We are all born with our own very different and unique personalities which become moulded and adapted through influence and experience throughout our lives. These adaptations act upon our personalities on conscious and unconscious levels and as we become older, we become much less susceptible than we were as children.

Many early influences are beneficial and serve us long and well. Others may have been very well intentioned but may not always be compatible with our own true needs and natures, so already setting up a potential problem for the future, albeit unwittingly on the part of our elders. Next come those experiences and influences which were clearly very bad for us, whether intended as such, or not.

As the human psyche has a remarkable ability to stay stuck in the past, where we have been detrimentally affected, it follows that we may experience an allusion of limited choices, with little or no desire or courage to change.

Even our longing to return to good things, such as a childhood home, first love, an old job, the births of our children and so on, can serve to keep us unconsciously stuck in the past when in reality we might now be wanting much more from life.

A consideration of the past and its consequences is therefore integral to a successful outcome.

However, we do not of course wish to compound the problem by dwelling too long, so the thrust of the therapy offered here is also very much towards the here and now. A reasonable analogy might be something like taking a sensitive but contemporary approach to the restoration of an old or traditional building. We decide what is of quality and value and worth preserving for the future, against that which once served a purpose but is now best replaced with something more useful or aesthetically pleasing.

To make an appointment Tel: 07767 294426
or Email:


Room One, The Cornerhouse Offices, High Street, Cranbrook, Kent TN17 3HE